I'm cleaning my attic.

I don't know how it happened, but my attic got really cluttered. I guess I wasn't aware that I was storing so much up there. I thought I was doing a good job at keeping most of my stuff stored in my heart area, but nope. The attic is getting more than its fair share and is now in need of a good cleanse.

Thank goodness for mudras and meditation and prayer beads.

Thank goodness for love and forgiveness and inquiry.

Thank goodness I don't keep too much stuff in my heart, because I'm starting to question if it's easier to clean the heart or the head and I'm answering, "Head."

My attic is a good place to store stuff because it has windows. If there's too much junk up there, I can open the windows and toss the rubbish out. Where is the heart's opening? In all these years, I haven't found one. It seems that the heart has more of a pore situation going on. Things seep into it and things can drain out of it, but there's no opening up one, huge hole and just tossing stuff in or grabbing things to toss out. The heart is trickier to handle.

If I don't want to think about something, I can simply think of something else, go somewhere else, look at something else, listen to something else, etc. If I don't want to feel something...well, I haven't figured out how to stop feeling things. Not the Heart Things, like Love and... What else is a Heart Thing? Now, that I'm thinking about it, I think that's the only one.

It's funny to me how the heart (or what we call the heart) Loves and all other emotions stem from choices. I've been testing this theory out and reading about it for years, and it seems to be true. The nature of Self is to Love...everything else is a choice. And, what is the Heart if not the Self? So many words for the same thing. I get exhausted trying to differentiate them.

I used to think that when someone's heart felt heavy, that meant s/he was sad or somehow emotionally compromised. Now, I realize that a heavy heart is a heart full of Love. A heart literally full of Love...so much so that it feels like it's about to burst. These moments don't only occur when we're feeling happy, because sadness is just Love With a Twist. As is anger. As is fear.

I have to go, now. My heart is heavy.