May 8, 2009

misogyny as altruistic endeavor

Recently, I had a conversation with some guys about childbearing and I brought up the fact that it's inherently selfish to have a child. They freaked out. One expressed how having a child is altruistic in nature and I had the unexpected pleasure of sharing with him how nothing altruistic is 100% altruistic and having children? What's so altruistic about that?

That led us to the point of "well, life has to continue". Mmmm. Okay. That mentality signifies the selfishness of life, in general, which can lead to "proof" of the selfishness of reproduction. These guys were under the (mistaken) impression that women exist to procreate and they had the Bible verses ready to back up their opinions.

Oh, my. The incomprehensible agony of dealing with religious rhetoric. Especially as it pertains to the purpose of female human beings. I thought it pertinent to share my enlightenment on the issue: women do not exist to have children. And, if it's so, what other proof do you have of it besides your silly religious doctrines?

The conversation came to an abrupt end.

Male humans really are some of the silliest creatures on this planet. It's too bad the convo had to end so quickly, because I can argue the purpose of women all day long.

And, it sure as fuck ain't to have kids.

April 28, 2009


Ee gads. I really need to learn to let some things go.

Years ago, after the birth of my fourth child, I volunteered to coordinate a forum for the UU church I was attending. It turned out that dealing with the people who had coordinated it in the past (and who didn't want to coordinate it that year) annoyed the hell out of me, so I baled. They ended up not having the forum that year. I felt guilty.

Now, I'm working on getting back involved in my community and I'm afraid I'll flake, again. I'm going to take it slowly this jumping in with both feet naive to the ways of the folks already around.

I went to a civil rights meeting tonight for the first time in years. I didn't know anyone, but there were only five other people there, so it was okay. I'm going to volunteer in the PRIDE events coming up. We'll see how I vibe with these people and go from there.

Note to self: Go slowly!

I like to just jump in and go. I get bored easily and quickly, so if I can't find a way to be super-useful immediately, I take my, talents and go home. One thing I feel life is trying to teach me is patience.

But, I don't have the patience for patience.

We'll see how this goes. The folks I met tonight seemed cool. A couple stayed behind after the meeting and chatted with me. When I sit back and think about my interactions with people I can see how overwhelming I am. Intensity is a double-edged sword.

April 26, 2009

the, feminist

Apparently, True Women belong in the kitchen. Or where ever the man tells 'em to wait.

That's all I'm going to say because now I want to smack somebody.

April 25, 2009

i feel




get out


April 24, 2009

New Moon in Taurus

Taurus. That beautiful horn-of-plenty.

This New Moon is the perfect time to wish for things related to money, satisfaction, and sex. (Was that redundant?) Also, if you want to work on patience, this is a surprisingly good time to do it. The Rule of Opposites and all that, seeing that Taureans are notoriously impatient and stubborn, if you ask me. (I know patience is a supposed Taurus Virtue, but I find that being able to wait excessively while storing up aggression is not the same as patience.)

I will definitely take advantage of this New Moon. Tonight, when it's nice and dark out, I will sit and focus on things I want to improve that Taurus energy can help me with.

While it is generally accepted that Aries is now the beginning of the zodiac, a friend and I once found a source that said Taurus used to be the beginning and that makes so much sense, energy-wise.

For more about that, you can visit our blog: Astrology Mommy. It's in its beginning stages, but we're drumming up posts as we can in our busy lives.

April 23, 2009


I just finished watching a documentary called 5 Girls. The doc follows five teen girls who are experiencing life and dealing with finding their place in this world (specifically the USA, Chicago-area) as females. It was interesting, but dredged up a pain.

When I was in high school, it was expected that I'd go to college afterward. I wasn't a first-generation college student and not attending college wasn't an option. During my junior year, I applied to the college I wanted to go to more than anything in the world: Hampton University.

I got accepted. In case I hadn't gotten accepted, I had also applied to other HBCUs that would do in a pinch. I got accepted to all of them, as well. When my mother made a fuss about me attending the colleges I wanted to go to (none of them were acceptable to her, although she, my father, and my father's side of the family had all attended HBCUs), I applied to colleges in Chicago, thinking I could stay at home and still go to school. That option held some appeal because I was scared of leaving home. I had no idea how to take care of myself.

My mother, being who she was, made sure I understood that she would not help me get into any of the universities I wanted to attend. She forced me to go to Purdue University and I went because I had a problem. I honestly didn't know how to lead a self-directed life. I didn't know how to live outside of my head.

Because of that single decision, her decision to disallow me my dreams, my life has taken on fractures. I'm not saying I haven't been happy. I have. I have enjoyed life in spite of the fact that when I needed support the most, it was kept from me. I was taught to be afraid of life, to not go after what I want in life, and to take what's handed to me, whether or not it's good for me.

Those are difficult lessons to unlearn.

It's taken me about fifteen years, but I think I finally know how to support myself, regardless of environment. I can go through the motions, anyway. But, deep inside, I'm still very unsure of where I'm going or what I'm doing. Inside, I still feel like that eighteen year old girl who needed more than her environment was willing to give.

Watching that documentary caused me to wonder how my life would have been different if my mother had encouraged and supported my dreams. How would my life have been different if I hadn't grown accustomed to being dominated and controlled by outside forces?

Because I don't ever want my children to experience the pain of an unsupportive parent, I argue with their father. But, that pain is there, anyway. There's nothing I can do about it, now. The time to control that was pre-conception. Now, all I can do is support them in their dreams and let them know that I will always be here to help them.

And, what if that's still not enough?

April 21, 2009

education or schooling? yes, you have to make a choice.

While watching an old 20/20 report on the incompetence of public schooling in the USA, I encountered an anti-homeschooling comment. The comment, as is typical for anti-homeschooling sentiment, dwelled on the lack of social skills homeschooled kids have.

Here is the problem with that idea: if you meet enough people in life, you will meet lots of people who lack social finesse. The public schools are full of kids who lack social skills. What is the benefit of teaching your child that it's normal and/or acceptable to bully people, to form cliques based upon being mean and exclusive, and to respect disrespectful authority figures?

Are those part of the reality of life? Unfortunately. So many folks had a problem with school when they were forced to attend, but don't seem to understand that the socialization process standardized by "normal schooling" in the United States of America is detrimental to the formation of a healthy society.

If you meet a homeschooled kid who seems to lack the ability to handle the dysfunction in the world, that is a good thing. If you meet a homeschooled kid who seems to have trouble befriending the conniving and asinine kids others produce, that is a good thing. If you meet a homeschooled kid who isn't going to accept your authority over her or him simply because you're older, that is a good thing.

People know how we generally socialize is messed up, but people are also creatures of habit. What is so great about normalizing poor habits? If homeschooling is a threat to the establishment, a threat to the regular ways of acting in life, I'm okay with that.

Anyone who isn't okay with that is not high on my list of people to care about. And, if homeschooled kids don't seem to want to talk to you or your children, maybe it's a better use of your mind to try to figure out what you're presenting that's distasteful, instead of automatically assuming the homeschooled child has a problem.

We don't need another generation of selfish, mob-mentality jerks. Besides, I was under the impression that school was about getting an education in math, grammar, science, and the like. If your main concern for homeschooled kids is their socialization, perhaps you need to take a better look at the society you're in.