to make love, first insert creative phrase

The fast was to be part of a cleansing ritual involving: shaving my head, going vegetarian, and practicing celibacy for the known future.

I chucked those three parts of it.

For some reason, the closer I got to the time to begin all that, the clearer I felt that that was not my path this time. I didn't need to go veg*n, again, because if I just eat less meat, my body will be good with it. I didn't need to shave my head, again, because I cut off the parts that were clouding my energy and I've released myself enough. I don't need to go celibate, again, because I'm clearer that the next person I have sex with will be someone I can make love to. Not just default love...I do that, anyway. But, active "I love you and want to be part of your positive sphere" making love.

Through the years, I've never really understood the point of "making love." I used to actually hate the term. But, now...I think I've gotten to a point of awareness where I can see and embrace the positives in all potentially limiting activities. (Yes, that means I view making love as a limiting activity.)

Of course, there is also the potential for expansion in making love, but I don't think it exists as often in the traditional, R-rated movie version of it. I could have been wrong, but when I thought of "making love" in the past, I mostly saw people having sex who wanted the sex to be limited to them and be limited in what it signified (otherwise, why call it "making love?").

"Making love" always seemed to be a boundary. It always seemed to mean some sort of exclusivity. It always seemed to imply expectations and demands.

I've never thought those ideas and feelings belonged attached to sex. Sex is such a freeing form of expression for me, "making love" felt like a chore. It felt stifling and in direct opposition to who I am as a free, independent woman.

But, now, I can embrace the fact that there are as many ways to "make love" as there are people doing it, probably. I've had to watch a lot of romantic movies to get to this point, but now that I'm here: I want the love-making that increases vitality, increases creativity, increases general well-being for all in the world. I don't have to subscribe to the "one and only" mentality behind so much love-making. I accept that a person can make love to 3 different people in as many nights (or fewer) and that will not detract from the love given at any given moment.

I can accept that love-making is more about sharing than consuming. It's more about giving than receiving.

Of course, this has always been how I defined "sex." Good sex, anyway. But, now, I just have one more thing to call it. Perhaps something more poetic: making love.

I don't know. I think I'd still take "making babies" over "making love," but we're not talking about procreational sex, are we?

I guess another issue I've always had with "making love" is the assertion (by the phrase) that it's possible to make such a thing. I mean, love exists. You can't "make love" by inserting a penis or dildo or finger into a vagina or anus or whatever anymore than you can "make air" by taking five, deep breaths. You work with it, you don't create it. You work within the realm of it, you don't claim ownership over it. It's a process, yes, but not one of creation. If it takes sex for you to express love, do you really love? Possibly, but it sounds like conditional love to me and I've rarely a use for such a thing.

Why isn't good conversation called "making love?" It's just as important, IMO. Why isn't cleaning the house called "making love?"

I'm looking forward to the day when I'm watching a film and witnessing someone thanking someone else for making love to her when all the other person did was dogsit or water her flowers. That's when I'll know sex is really worth all its descriptions.